The facts were these...

Female. 25. Chicago.

Sexuality: Middle-aged women who look like they would fuck your brains out and then bake you cookies.

My main ships:

Ned & Chuck


Swan Queen





one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 600,000 dollars and i was so pleased with myself. 300,000 dollars when youre 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars. he was so mad

Shit, man, $300,000 would be like infinity dollars to me now.

(Source: meladoodle)


i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about


Have you ever had people run out to their car to get exact change? Like they have enough money in their hand to pay for their stuff and leave, but they just NEED to get rid of that spare change so they have to run out and rummage through their car for 5 minutes, just so they don’t have to get 37 cents back. Just take your shit and leave.



A coffee pot can be a coffee mug if you just don’t fucking care



Have you ever bullshitted an assignment so hard you basically laugh after every sentence you write

(Source: pia-pium)


Do you ever think about the fact that the US has created and legitimized a system of institutionalized inequality by funding schools through property taxes?  That basically a child’s education is only as good as the value of the property in their neighborhood.  Funny how education is so often viewed as an equalizing factor when there is nothing equal about it.

excited to learn, does all the work
dislikes school, but does the work because they are worried about what their parents will say
hates life does some work in order to get into university
can't remember the day of the week let alone if they had homework and honestly they couldn't give a fuck


wait a minute this isn’t my homework

this is tumblr

how did this happen